There is a gush of hot blood through my veins when someone calls me ‘Dude,’ and my hands itch to break his nose into a million pieces. Some people, though, feel overjoyed when they are addressed as Dude. For me, ‘dude’ is one of the most offensive words we non-native english speakers have downloaded via Facebook. The first image that comes to my mind when I hear the word is that of a person whose shoes look better than his face.
So, what makes a person a dude? Here are five types of dude I’ve seen around. Maybe you could add more to the list.
The Dandy Dude
Fashion is a good thing, it indicates change. But a dandy dude will either over-dress himself, like putting on a tight, slim pant with silver chains hanging from it, or keep long straightened hairs. Some will even go to the extent of putting on nail polish and plastic bangles. Sometimes, a dandy dude could be mistaken for a girl.
The Sissy Dude
The only male thing about a sissy dude is his gender. His actions portray the contrary. A sissy dude will brutally address you as ‘Bhaiya’, when it is self-evident that you are both of the same age. A sissy dude is justification of the belief that even God can be confused while creating some human beings.
The ‘I Know It All’ Dude
These are the attention grabbers. If you have had the greatest revelation of life and you share it with any such dude, he’ll just look down at you and make you feel that there is nothing new in what you are saying, and he’ll rather point that it was his revelation and you just said what he knew since his childhood. Be warned, these are the dudes the opposite sex is highly fond of.
The ‘Made in China’ Dude
He is someone who considers himself no less than Salman Khan, but, ironically, can’t afford similar lifestyle. So, in a desperate attempt to emulate his idol’s style he will endorse Chinese products wholeheartedly. From his mobile phone, to the party-wear, and even the Jockey undergarments, he will fake everything – leading to a higher resemblance with Kamaal R Khan than Salman Khan.
The ‘You Look So Cheap’ Dude
He is the macho man, a hero among all the dudes. You-look-so-cheap dude is someone fond of chewing-gums, wears strong, irritating perfume, and gives everyone a ‘you-look-so-cheap’ stare. These dudes are greatly in love with their cellphones – where the number of sms alerts in a minute is greater than the minutes in an hour. They also take great pride in ridiculing you for your liking of Aashiqui-2 songs, whereas they themselves secretly cry over the songs of Kumar Sanu.
So, this is it. These are the dudes, at times, I have to bear with. What about you?