Neighbouring kids have recently started addressing me as ‘uncle’, and here I am: lone, frustrated, bored, and having achieved absolutely nothing in these past thirty years of my life. Each morning I wake up with sleep deprived eyes, pick up my pen and journal, and forcibly try to turn on the faucet of my dwarfish brain. But nothing useful comes out of it.
Then I turn to the internet and hunt for bloggers who continue to write post after post after post (I wish I could write so many ‘post after post after post’ here that together they could make my blog with so many posts – just for the content of my heart, you know!) throughout the year. Which ultimately leaves me more frustrated than solaced. Because here they are – the successful bloggers – writing meaningful content which people actually read, and here I’m, a pitiable soul who reads more stuff about how to write meaningful blog posts than actually write any.
Each morning I wake up and beg the muse hovering over my house to land on my front porch – if not front, maybe back – but she is inconsiderate of me and rather prefers a bloggeress hundred blocks away, whose (the bloggerress’) even an underexposed photograph of her conniving kitten fetches greater number of comments and likes than the best of my posts.
I once shared this frustration with a blogger friend of mine whose name I can not disclose because his elder brother is a dentist. And this friend philosophically advised that blogging, rather social media in general, was a big mad world where the only rule was: you lick my ass, and I lick yours. Sorry, he said something like, you like my snaps, and I like yours. I just fondled with the nouns & verbs; I shouldn’t have done this! But nonetheless, I did not take his advise seriously because he had once maintained five blogs about biking, hiking, kayaking, sleeping, and men’s makeup. And had to delete them as he was diagnosed with ‘blogger’s block’ before he could publish his seventh post, which he were to title, ‘No men, no cry!’
But deep in my heart I still envy him, as all his posts did get likes and comments while there are posts on this blogs which have managed none. Moreover, I also envy him because here I have nothing meaningful to say on this only blog of mine whereas he, mind you, singlehandedly maintained five! But then this is how cruel life sometimes can get- few men end up confused between their girlfriends whereas some, like me, struggle to fetch even one (This line may be read in the past tense as I am a married man now, and when my wife doesn’t talk to me, she reads random posts out of this blog.)
I know, if I consistently manage to produce content for this blog, eventually few good-hearted people will come and comment and like and share this blog. But the only problem remains is ‘kitten’. Though I’ve a cellphone with a megapixel camera, I don’t have a kitten. And I’ve been hunting for a ‘For Sale Cute Kitten, Hurry!’ ad but couldn’t find one. If you have any idea please advise.